A Right to Reply

I refer you to my darling brothers post

I don't wish to discuss his giving up on spelling - mainly as I thought he had done that some time ago, rather his harsh and hurtful comment about the lollipop lady.

At this point I'd like to say I know nothing of this lollipop lady - and she may well be a witch. But I do have to say that if she is then he's (my bro) in a lot of trouble 'cause my memory of the most excellent bewitched leads me to believe that if a witch wiggles/crinkles or otherwise deforms their nose at you, you're in for a hexing (check out the cute little ani about half way dopwn the page).

Further to this I have no idea what Zyclon is and so he who must be mocked should have done that or possibly this. (okay having found that last link I realise this was a lie (mainly due to the incomplete-ness of the name in his posting, but my point still stands I say)

Also, and this relates to my first point, - Sam is most defiantly not old; oh no.

So there you have it - My bro's a fool. And one soon to be turned into a frog no doubt.

Blood bath

...well bed really.

Woke up on Monday morning with an oddly familiar, but out of place, smell in my nostrils - one that made me feel more than a little nauseous.

It was the smell of slept in dry blood, something that I have become quite familiar with from my work in A&E - I can still picture they way it clings to you after you go to someone on the ward.

Why was this I hear you shout - well Tiny had toddled through from his bed to ours in the night. Along the way his foot encountered the detritus of my discarded clothes causing him to fall and bang his head on the corner of the bed.

This also apparently led to him cutting his forehead, I thought he was just upset 'cause he had fallen in the dark (he don't like the dark one little bit, possibly his only weak spot). Apparently not.

He now looks like a prize fighter - with one eye swollen and bruised, a little cut just above the eyebrow steri-stripped up.

Builders

So

my life has stopped feeling like a (quite good) film. The builders have left the loft - leaving a bloody great hole in the wardrobe ceiling I might add.

Now they've moved onto to routing/chiseling a hole in an oak beam in the sitting room in order to fit a metal plate. The beams cracked and is slowly moving downwards - I slowly it's not really slow it just kinda drops from time to time. At present we can only open the door to the living room about a third of the way before it sticks on the beam, meaning everyone has to kinda slide into the room.

Anyway, this wouldn't be a problem apart from I started nights on Monday night - And they started work on Tuesday morning.

I am sleeping at my Mother's house.

Ps. Bottom still hurts.

OWWWWWWWWW

Last night my loving brother made me sit on a fork - which then stuck in my bottom.

It hurts - a lot - still.

Particularly when I sit down, not when I am sat - just when I sit.

s'okay he'll get his.

B'day Cont.

So,

Today I went out b'day shopping with my mother. we were some what less than raucous - her being (for the last four or five days) generally unwell and run down and me being somewhat hungover.

Anyway, I decided I'd like to go to an ex-army type place that I know they go to. Particularly with the hope of getting some boots like Kit's - they didn't have any but it was a nice place to have a poke around in any case.

This being a less than successful venture I considered other places we might go- but my hangover was starting to bite a little and I was starving so instead I opted for lunch. Had a nice pub lunch at a local pub - it was lovely. Came home.

On arriving home didn't do a great deal. Did have call to hoover tiny though as he had, somehow, managed to empty and entire jar of flour over himself and the dining room. He thought being hoovered was hilarious and kept wriggling - not making for an easy job.

I then hoovered what I could of the flour on the dining floor, chairs, table, books well you ge the picture. This was not aided by the fact that he had, as he helpfully pointed out, mixed apple juice in with most of the floor on the table. If you have ever tried to mop up large amounts of floor/liquid you'll know that it's most reminiscent of trying to mop up a cross between PVA glue and pollen. The end result was that I was both very sticky and wheezing.

I now note that I am neither sticky or wheezing but my hands do feel like they have hadd all the moisture surgically removed. Not sure exactly how you would perform that surgically - I guess some kinda micro-surgical fusion over your sweat glands would do it.

In other news we've had the builders in - they are doing some work in the loft, so you don't really notice them other than the occasional bang from above you which is most reminiscent of being in 'Shallow Grave'.

Birthday

And a jolly nice one it was too. I have received - a mag light (like the one on my wish list but black), a couple of bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila, a box of chocs and a decent looking book. Also have the promise of more things to come; and I'm going shopping with mater in the near future - so that should be good. Also, from work (we have a kinda slush fund thing were you pay in so much a month and the fund buys you a present on your birthday - it also pays for flowers if you're sick or have a baby or whatever) I received some fair trade tea, organic green tea, G&B's chocolate (3bars) and G&B's cocoa - so they seem to have my main areas of interest pretty well pegged!

However, I go to all that effort of setting up a wish list and people still buy wine and chocs and the like. The book wasn't even one of the few on the list.

Where do people get off on finding nice things to surprise me with huh.

In other news - there ain't any so pah.

Sing A Song Of......

Soldiers!

So this happened sometime previous but a recent chance remark brought it back to my mind. First born thought of a song - he made it up all on his ownsome - that's what he says and I've no reason to doubt. It goes something like this (I apologies, I'm sure I haven't got the verse quite right, Someone please chip in). It came with amusing action as well. You prob' guess them but they are added to the bottom of the verse for completeness.

March like a soldier
March like a soldier
March like a soldier
March like a soldier
March like a soldier
marching type action

Dress like a soldier *5
mime putting clothes on

Train like a soldier *6
mime doing various exercises

Polish you Helmet like a soldier *5
mime polishing your helmet!

Shoot like a soldier *5
mime shooting

Die like a soldier *5
this is the best one as it involves going kinda limp and rag doll like at the end of the verse.

Now there's two things I note of this.

1. Small child double-entendre is the best (I I only noticed the amusement of the polish verse being followed by shoot like a soldier whilst writing it just now).

2. My son has an unnerving grasp on what it is like to be a soldier - you become institutionalised and then die.

Also in news of the day - It's my birthday. Yippee. Okay it's four in the am so I haven't actually got much news on that front; but none the less if I knew where my pressies were hid I 'd run down stairs and open them!

Fire Poi

Fire Poi
Originally uploaded by Mr. Dtb.

This is a picture of someone fire poing (or whatever) There's no particular story attached but I need to see if I could post from flickr as I've been struggling.

That's MR Dtb to You!

As promised photo of top hat(as taken by anarchkit I believe). Okay I admit not the best photo of the hat - but still dandy I'm sure you will agree.

This was at the afore mentioned party in a field thing at GB06.

Vampyre

So the other day we were making a pumpkin lantern for halloween - ever one for up-to-the-minute news me. First born drew the template and it fell to me to cut it out. This led to the mouth cutout being discarded while I concentrated on the eyes. Tiny took it upon himself to adopt it as his own haloween type costume.

Unfortunately he shortly after bit through it and the turned into two slightly soggy and defiantly separate fangs.

Gun Powder, Treason & Toffee

Small's First real experience of sparklers - Which went well till they ran out.

Oh, and he tried to touch one - good job we made him wear gloves!my niece refused to, did the same and burnt her finger (but only a little bit). 

I Told You So

See I am back, said I would be.

And there's nothing on tellie - but even if there was I'm sat in the front room (which is actually kinda at the side of the house but that's another argument; it was at the back of the previous house and I still called it the front room).

Now the keen among you might have noticed something (I'm presuming that majority of person reading this blog will have been to my house) - Yes, I have moved house. But no I haven't moved my new house - in fact I've moved in with my inlaws (well sister-in-law).

As they are doing a kinda week commute north to south (and backa again!) it means we have the house to ourselves most of the week and they don't have to worry about (any other) squatters when they're at work. Seems to be working out quite well at present. Has the advantage of being across the wood from the house we are working on, and my mum et al. So that's good. Nice to be out of the countryside a little bit.

So why haven't I posted for so long?

Well, there in lies a tale - and a tale I am willing to share with one and all (aren't you lucky boys and girls).

Actually it's more like a series of excuses really.

Firstly, I was (I may have previously mentioned) house sitting at the summer. And although they have all the prerequisites (a computer, broadband etc) it's just not the same as being at 'home'. Then came the snap decision to move house. And so I have been some-what busy with that.

So this moving means I'm once again without broadband. A lamentable state of affairs I might add; I wait all summer to be near my computer (how much do I want a laptop) and when I have the computer I have no connection so I can't do all the things I really wanted to do!

So after a couple or four weeks we get the broadband sorted and it's all cool.

Well at least it would be - but then (and this is the fun bit) about a 2 weeks after that my tiny toddle of death decides to stand on the bath and use a flannel to plug up the sink, and then turn the tap on full. 'That's cool' I can hear you saying 'that's what overflow's for'. But no you under-estimate the tiny one; for he is one-step-ahead and has already found a plastic bung to wedge into it.

So sometime later our lass is wandering around in the kitchen and notices the floor is wet - but can't fathom it. At the time the washing machine was pumping out and she figured it must be that. So whilst fanatically trying to mop around the washing machine the tiny bundle of wrath tugs on her to say he needs the toilet. Now at this point it could all have got a lot worse - 'cause in the normal course of events we'd stick him in on the potty and jobs a good 'un. But the potty was missing, annoying if you're trying to catch the contents of a washing machine, but in retrospect quite handy as the water was in fact pouring from the several inches that are lying on the floor of the bathroom.

So after a gruelling (hem hem) 14hr shift I return to a house that has been plunged into the dark ages 'cause the waters fused all the electrics.

Under advisement we wait for it to dry out, and wait, and wait - and eventually get sick of waiting and get a 'lecy to fix the problem. Anyway, this all took about two or three weeks to sort out. And although it was sorted a few weeks ago I was somewhat out of the habit of writing and had what seemed like a depressing amount of 'news' to tell. Making it hard cut swathe into it.

I've got plenty more news to share - but I think I'll let you off for now. Hopefully I'll get to share some of the recent happenings in and amongst before the moment has passed, and I will try to be less sporadic - promise.

Once more into the breach.....

yes,

I've been an absent friend - for quite some time it would appear.

There are a number of reason for this; but to be honest I'm not sure I can be bothered to go into the at the moment - so I won't!

Also, I want to watch something on the telly at errm OHHH NOW. I promise I'll write, post pic's and all that jazz soon.


TTFN

GB'06

And a fine time was had by all.

Yes that's it - I'm back from Greenbelt '06. It was a different experience for me this year as I was a vol'. Working with medical team (seems kinda obvious really), Meant I didn't get to see a lot of the 'acts' though. I did get a free ticket and free food thought - so that was good.

It was also interesting to see the hidden workings of the festival, and watch it grow in the few days before the punters tip up. The change from an empty racecourse to a sea of tents was something a bit special. Apparantly there were about 18,000 people with camping tickets on the saturday night.

I got to see King Creosote who were great. And Nizlopi (of JCB song fame) who were less great. I missed Courtney Pine though which I was a little gutted about.

One of the most surreal parts of the weekend was 'frin's MA graduation party, for which I was in full formal dress - Long frock coat (of wedding fame), nero shirt, cane, and my new top hat. And stood in the middle of a muddy campsite in the middle of Cheltenham Racecourse.

I am most in love with this small part of my ever expanding collection of hats, it's lovely. I will be posting a pic' at some point (when I find the USB cable for my camera!).

I'm sure there will be more little tit-bits to come yet - However, I was bit tired after my weekend of jolity so I'm not feeling up to writing much really.

Out Of Office Message

Hey,

So posting may become even more sporadic over the next couple of weeks, partly due to the fact I'm going away to greenbelt over this next weekend. And partly due to the fact I have no broadband at home now - this situation will remedied fairly soon I hope.

If your ever stuck........

for something to give me as I'm so wonderfull - then just take a glance to the right --->

It's there for handy reference.

Love ya all.

And so my blog grows, like a beautiful flower; change and evolving with the seasons. Ever reaching out to the glowing, life giving orb which is a template I'm happy with.

However, I am (so far) trying to avoid the swift injection of 'roids that is all the bling on Ste's blog.

How long can a man hold out? Only time will tell.

A summer in the country

Soooo,

 

I've been a little incommunicado lately. This is mainly due to the fact I've been Newhouse-sitting as the regular residents go on their version of a grand tour. This involves driving to various parts of Italy in a battered and very red camper van; and then staying in other peoples houses (with their permission I hasten to add).

 

This is nice, I like Newhouse (which is lucky as I will one day live there). It also means I can do some little things to hasten the approach of that said day.

 

Anyway, I spent yesterday relaying a stone patio at the back of the house. I say relaying - we only relaid two flags but we did recut the patio where the edge had collapsed and remove the flags that where swimming across the lawn.

 

We also rebuilt (and extended upwards) a collapsed dry stone wall. This was a job on the list of 'to do' for a little while. But it soon got bumped up when, whilst examining the extent of the work required, we found someone cooking up in the adjacent outbuilding.

 

The last week also saw the instillation of new windows to one of the rooms of our house; and lovely they are, and the (finally) visit of a sparky. These two things bode well for the hoped for partial move being not too long away.  

 

In other news my sister-in-law etc. moved in to their new house. And it is, rather conveniently,  a pleasant woodland stroll away from Newhouse. 

 

I have to say they've done very well for themselves I feel - A lovely cottage conversion thing, large rooms and plenty of them. It's all good.

 

It also means they've borrowed (and in a couple of case taken permanent stewardship of) some of the pile of furniture we seem to be accumulating in the house at the moment. 

 

So all in all a pretty nice few days - admittedly not a great deal to write home about for you lot- but it fills me with a sense of enormous well being and satisfaction that I've achieved something.

 

 

 

Sooooo

My dad asked me and my Sister to imagine he was dead earlier today.

 

Not sure how to take that!

 

When the sugar rush ends....

When the sugar rush ends....
Originally uploaded by Mr. Dtb.

.....sometimes it's all too much.

----------------------

Lost In transfer to new template!

A death in the family.....

So,

I awoke the other day to my wife asking 'shouldn't I be at work already?'

'no' I reply - looking at my mobile/alarm clock 'it's only 04.30' (well okay I didn't say oh-four-thirty but you get the idea). 'Nope' says my wife nodding to her alarm clock 'it's after eight'.

Bloody mobile. Little back story here, the alarm belongs to my wife (my mobile (or handy as my Step-father would have it) was flat), and it tends to forget to keep counting when switched off. But as it wasn't mine I forgot this - hence my still snoring at 8.15 when I should be handing out drugs at 6.30.

So I phone work and speak to my boss - 'My mobile died in the night' I say 'so that's why you couldn't raise me'

My boss was remarkably nice; 'Oh, I am sorry' she say 'How are you? Don't bother coming in today - and give me a call later about tomorrow, now I've got to go; but are you sure your okay?" I just made sort of positive grunting sounds, still being 93% asleep.

Now the whole 'can't come in today' bit wasn't to much of a surprise, I was only on an early - due to finish around 12.30 and the main part of the work is done by 10.00 in any case. So that combined with the rush hour meaning I wouldn't get into work till around 09.30 - I reckoned there was little point in tipping up. They'd get my time when it was more usefully later in the month after all. However, the whole call me about tomorrow thing was a bit weird, as was the undue concern. But what the hey.

So I called her back - 'I am sorry to hear about your loss, are you sure it's okay'; 'Yep', I reply fairly ambivalently - if a little confused. 'Now, what shift are you meant to be on tomorrow? We'll try to cover it'. My confusion is building now, as is my concern for my managers mental health, 'Right' I said, 'and why would I not be coming in tomorrow?'

Well, I guess you've got it by now - I said mobile, she heard mum. We soon got it sorted out.

But what if we hadn't - I could of just said 'thanks a lots, I'll do some gardening.'

Apparently, all my colleagues thought I was bereaved - a collection had been started; all that. I could of strung it out for a couple of weeks even maybe. Come back made up some excuse. Maybe even said I was so devastated by the loss of my Sony Ericisson!

A Litlle Bit Of My Newhouse.

 

Not quite ready to move into! 

Back on track

Well, I think that's enough petulance for the moment. I intended to continue my bloging with aplumb (yep, the juicy fuity things (Hmm, or maybe the hanging down straight line type thing - so hard to decided)).

Don't all rush at once - it'll still be here tomorrow.

Oh, and have you ever missed some stuff. But you can blame blogger for that.

Be Lucky

MR Dtb.

still beroken???

Broken blog.....

... therefore I refuse to post till some tells me what's up with it. It's jsut too horrid to look at at the mo'.

So there.

I told you I'd be back.

Some little thing did crop up in my mind..

When I was cycling to work this morning (along the canal) there was a family of geese - not great on bird breeds but I guess they were the Canadian kind (yep, thanks google). And at first I just saw the one of them, I was a bit tired and mainly looking at the path ahead of me, and it lurched out a bit from the grass verge and craned it's neck to hiss loudly at me causing me to veer away a little (which was the desired affect I guess). Then I noticed another just a little way down the verge and it was doing much the same in anticipation of my arrival. And then, only as I passed did I notice the little furry huddle of about 4 or 5 goslings between them, and it was so cute - in a scary geese kinda way - to see the parents on sentry duty protecting the little ones. The way they were at either end of the verge, and a little distant so the babes had a safe buffer zone as it where. And the whole being big and hissy at me had the desired effect 'cause it wasn't till I was passing by that I noted the little 'uns.

I was pretty glad I was on my bike however and could just zip past - those geese can be scary-assed birds and it ain't all that big a toepath.

I also discovered (just now) that the proper latin type name for the candadian goose is "Branta canadensis". Doesn't that just sound like something you'd need to take lots of antibiotics and special cream for!

Normal service is resumed

 

So I had the weekend off form blogging - mainly due to the fact that I was at my parents and despite the fact they (supposedly) have four Internet ready computers I couldn't seem to get near one four more than five minutes in order to construct a post.

 

So I'm writing this at work - which is great, got more time to write a post at work than I have all weekend.

 

Actually I'm a bit stuck for exciting news at the mo' (so at least something is working); at the mo' I hear you scream; we've read the rest of your blog - at the mo' don't even come close.

 

I'm a going to leave it there for the mo' as the actually want me to do some work (shock horror). I may - if you're really lucky check in later on. Or I may not.

 

Ta Ta for now my lovelies.

 

I really have thought about it and still I don't know what's so great about denim.

Answers on a postcard please.

Oh, and England won today - woo, I'm so excited *yawn*.

Jungle Jim

Oh, yeah. I forgot. Didn't post yesterday as I was busy mowing the lawn (all day I here you shout - well it did look like this)

A Long Ride

Yep, went for a bike ride today - Which was nice. Actually it was, went around the hills outside Huddersfield with my younger brother. We cycled, got stung by nettles, cycled, got lost, cycled, got lost, cycled ate lunch, cycled. And that was about it. I'd show you some of the stunning photo's of the wonderfully lit scenery - but it was grey and rainy most of the time, and I forgot my camera in any case.

My youngest brother got punched the other night- 'cause he was hitting on someone's girlfriend (he says he was just 'consoling her' but we all know what that means don't we).

What else - Nope think that's about it really - oh, managed to not fall off at all and didn't break anything on the bike - so that's pretty miraculous - did forget to take my front wheel though (not on the ride, that'd be talent - just to Hudds) so had to borrow my youngest bro's.

Nothing else on the home front to report - other than my youngest son has started saying bitch (we think it may mean bird though); all the time. Most amusing.

Little bit of Leeds Lore

Check out this lovely little bit of personal lore of Leeds i happened to stumble across.

The Berkeley Hotel used to stand in the grounds. Run by a Hungarian called Louis who was happy to keep the bar open illegally after the pubs shut. This meant that the customers of the Faversham (then the heart of the Leeds music scene-Sisters of Mercy etc) would decant to the Berkeley to mix with its permanent Social Services residents.

The kindly provision of a pool table meant that fights were guaranteed. In fact, I remember one night when the whole place was under seige by some expellees with bricks and bottles coming in through the windows.

I used to visit with my other half very early in our relationship. One night in the usual argument over "rules on the black" in a game of pool a drunken Scotsman (though I don't know why the nationality is important) pulled out a knife. With a flick of the wrists she deftly disarmed him. When I asked her where she'd learnt to do that she replied "Oh, you have to do that all the time when you're a teacher".

At which point I thought, that's the gal for me.

Thanks rikj

You can see the context here should you wish.

But The Image is irrelevant really.


PS. Having cycled back that way there is DEFIANTLY a pot-hole (in case you care).

So what's your job??

[This happened a while ago but it just occurred to me as I was sitting
waiting for my relief]

I was filling a form with one of my patients (or clients - I'm never sure
what to call them esp' when they're not sick). I asked him what his
occupation was and he said he was 'in asset re-location'. So you see even
chav housebreakers can be ironic.

That's all.

I MADE IT!

It was with some trepidation that I ventured to work on my bike last night.

Firstly, it was the first time I had been on a bike since fucking my knee - and I didn't know how it'd react to the sudden onslaught of exercise; to be honest I wasn't sure how the rest of me would react for that matter.

Secondly, the last twice I've been out of the saddle it's been due to some unfortunate incident whilst getting home after a night shift.(And for the that matter the time before was on the way to a night shift). Obviously there was the whole knee pavement interface thing. And before that I ripped my rear mech off (still not sure how) and had to have the frame fixed.

So you see there were a number of reasons to be anxious - but I made it. My knee hurts a little - still know and is once again sore when scaling the remarkably steep spiral stairs at work. But what the hey, I think it's good pain if-you-know-what-I-mean.

So, I made it. Not out of the woods yet though gotta make it home on Monday morning before I can finally rejoice.

("Firstly, it was the first...." What was I thinking; dear me).

(NB. This was a little test post for me to see if I could get the whole email to blog thing working. Non too hard you make think - Jesus, if I haven't forwarded this mail to a slight variant of the email address once, I've sent it a thousand times).

Well that was an eventfully few days...

But I guess you'll never get to find that out will you. As I only set up my blog today and the 'were' an eventful few days.

So here's to my first post and Actually starting a blog when I'm on nights is great way to start a boring blog, 'cause nothing happens - other than working and sleeping. (mind you same could be said of days too!).