Blood bath

...well bed really.

Woke up on Monday morning with an oddly familiar, but out of place, smell in my nostrils - one that made me feel more than a little nauseous.

It was the smell of slept in dry blood, something that I have become quite familiar with from my work in A&E - I can still picture they way it clings to you after you go to someone on the ward.

Why was this I hear you shout - well Tiny had toddled through from his bed to ours in the night. Along the way his foot encountered the detritus of my discarded clothes causing him to fall and bang his head on the corner of the bed.

This also apparently led to him cutting his forehead, I thought he was just upset 'cause he had fallen in the dark (he don't like the dark one little bit, possibly his only weak spot). Apparently not.

He now looks like a prize fighter - with one eye swollen and bruised, a little cut just above the eyebrow steri-stripped up.

Builders

So

my life has stopped feeling like a (quite good) film. The builders have left the loft - leaving a bloody great hole in the wardrobe ceiling I might add.

Now they've moved onto to routing/chiseling a hole in an oak beam in the sitting room in order to fit a metal plate. The beams cracked and is slowly moving downwards - I slowly it's not really slow it just kinda drops from time to time. At present we can only open the door to the living room about a third of the way before it sticks on the beam, meaning everyone has to kinda slide into the room.

Anyway, this wouldn't be a problem apart from I started nights on Monday night - And they started work on Tuesday morning.

I am sleeping at my Mother's house.

Ps. Bottom still hurts.

OWWWWWWWWW

Last night my loving brother made me sit on a fork - which then stuck in my bottom.

It hurts - a lot - still.

Particularly when I sit down, not when I am sat - just when I sit.

s'okay he'll get his.

B'day Cont.

So,

Today I went out b'day shopping with my mother. we were some what less than raucous - her being (for the last four or five days) generally unwell and run down and me being somewhat hungover.

Anyway, I decided I'd like to go to an ex-army type place that I know they go to. Particularly with the hope of getting some boots like Kit's - they didn't have any but it was a nice place to have a poke around in any case.

This being a less than successful venture I considered other places we might go- but my hangover was starting to bite a little and I was starving so instead I opted for lunch. Had a nice pub lunch at a local pub - it was lovely. Came home.

On arriving home didn't do a great deal. Did have call to hoover tiny though as he had, somehow, managed to empty and entire jar of flour over himself and the dining room. He thought being hoovered was hilarious and kept wriggling - not making for an easy job.

I then hoovered what I could of the flour on the dining floor, chairs, table, books well you ge the picture. This was not aided by the fact that he had, as he helpfully pointed out, mixed apple juice in with most of the floor on the table. If you have ever tried to mop up large amounts of floor/liquid you'll know that it's most reminiscent of trying to mop up a cross between PVA glue and pollen. The end result was that I was both very sticky and wheezing.

I now note that I am neither sticky or wheezing but my hands do feel like they have hadd all the moisture surgically removed. Not sure exactly how you would perform that surgically - I guess some kinda micro-surgical fusion over your sweat glands would do it.

In other news we've had the builders in - they are doing some work in the loft, so you don't really notice them other than the occasional bang from above you which is most reminiscent of being in 'Shallow Grave'.

Birthday

And a jolly nice one it was too. I have received - a mag light (like the one on my wish list but black), a couple of bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila, a box of chocs and a decent looking book. Also have the promise of more things to come; and I'm going shopping with mater in the near future - so that should be good. Also, from work (we have a kinda slush fund thing were you pay in so much a month and the fund buys you a present on your birthday - it also pays for flowers if you're sick or have a baby or whatever) I received some fair trade tea, organic green tea, G&B's chocolate (3bars) and G&B's cocoa - so they seem to have my main areas of interest pretty well pegged!

However, I go to all that effort of setting up a wish list and people still buy wine and chocs and the like. The book wasn't even one of the few on the list.

Where do people get off on finding nice things to surprise me with huh.

In other news - there ain't any so pah.

Sing A Song Of......

Soldiers!

So this happened sometime previous but a recent chance remark brought it back to my mind. First born thought of a song - he made it up all on his ownsome - that's what he says and I've no reason to doubt. It goes something like this (I apologies, I'm sure I haven't got the verse quite right, Someone please chip in). It came with amusing action as well. You prob' guess them but they are added to the bottom of the verse for completeness.

March like a soldier
March like a soldier
March like a soldier
March like a soldier
March like a soldier
marching type action

Dress like a soldier *5
mime putting clothes on

Train like a soldier *6
mime doing various exercises

Polish you Helmet like a soldier *5
mime polishing your helmet!

Shoot like a soldier *5
mime shooting

Die like a soldier *5
this is the best one as it involves going kinda limp and rag doll like at the end of the verse.

Now there's two things I note of this.

1. Small child double-entendre is the best (I I only noticed the amusement of the polish verse being followed by shoot like a soldier whilst writing it just now).

2. My son has an unnerving grasp on what it is like to be a soldier - you become institutionalised and then die.

Also in news of the day - It's my birthday. Yippee. Okay it's four in the am so I haven't actually got much news on that front; but none the less if I knew where my pressies were hid I 'd run down stairs and open them!

Fire Poi

Fire Poi
Originally uploaded by Mr. Dtb.

This is a picture of someone fire poing (or whatever) There's no particular story attached but I need to see if I could post from flickr as I've been struggling.

That's MR Dtb to You!

As promised photo of top hat(as taken by anarchkit I believe). Okay I admit not the best photo of the hat - but still dandy I'm sure you will agree.

This was at the afore mentioned party in a field thing at GB06.

Vampyre

So the other day we were making a pumpkin lantern for halloween - ever one for up-to-the-minute news me. First born drew the template and it fell to me to cut it out. This led to the mouth cutout being discarded while I concentrated on the eyes. Tiny took it upon himself to adopt it as his own haloween type costume.

Unfortunately he shortly after bit through it and the turned into two slightly soggy and defiantly separate fangs.

Gun Powder, Treason & Toffee

Small's First real experience of sparklers - Which went well till they ran out.

Oh, and he tried to touch one - good job we made him wear gloves!my niece refused to, did the same and burnt her finger (but only a little bit). 

I Told You So

See I am back, said I would be.

And there's nothing on tellie - but even if there was I'm sat in the front room (which is actually kinda at the side of the house but that's another argument; it was at the back of the previous house and I still called it the front room).

Now the keen among you might have noticed something (I'm presuming that majority of person reading this blog will have been to my house) - Yes, I have moved house. But no I haven't moved my new house - in fact I've moved in with my inlaws (well sister-in-law).

As they are doing a kinda week commute north to south (and backa again!) it means we have the house to ourselves most of the week and they don't have to worry about (any other) squatters when they're at work. Seems to be working out quite well at present. Has the advantage of being across the wood from the house we are working on, and my mum et al. So that's good. Nice to be out of the countryside a little bit.

So why haven't I posted for so long?

Well, there in lies a tale - and a tale I am willing to share with one and all (aren't you lucky boys and girls).

Actually it's more like a series of excuses really.

Firstly, I was (I may have previously mentioned) house sitting at the summer. And although they have all the prerequisites (a computer, broadband etc) it's just not the same as being at 'home'. Then came the snap decision to move house. And so I have been some-what busy with that.

So this moving means I'm once again without broadband. A lamentable state of affairs I might add; I wait all summer to be near my computer (how much do I want a laptop) and when I have the computer I have no connection so I can't do all the things I really wanted to do!

So after a couple or four weeks we get the broadband sorted and it's all cool.

Well at least it would be - but then (and this is the fun bit) about a 2 weeks after that my tiny toddle of death decides to stand on the bath and use a flannel to plug up the sink, and then turn the tap on full. 'That's cool' I can hear you saying 'that's what overflow's for'. But no you under-estimate the tiny one; for he is one-step-ahead and has already found a plastic bung to wedge into it.

So sometime later our lass is wandering around in the kitchen and notices the floor is wet - but can't fathom it. At the time the washing machine was pumping out and she figured it must be that. So whilst fanatically trying to mop around the washing machine the tiny bundle of wrath tugs on her to say he needs the toilet. Now at this point it could all have got a lot worse - 'cause in the normal course of events we'd stick him in on the potty and jobs a good 'un. But the potty was missing, annoying if you're trying to catch the contents of a washing machine, but in retrospect quite handy as the water was in fact pouring from the several inches that are lying on the floor of the bathroom.

So after a gruelling (hem hem) 14hr shift I return to a house that has been plunged into the dark ages 'cause the waters fused all the electrics.

Under advisement we wait for it to dry out, and wait, and wait - and eventually get sick of waiting and get a 'lecy to fix the problem. Anyway, this all took about two or three weeks to sort out. And although it was sorted a few weeks ago I was somewhat out of the habit of writing and had what seemed like a depressing amount of 'news' to tell. Making it hard cut swathe into it.

I've got plenty more news to share - but I think I'll let you off for now. Hopefully I'll get to share some of the recent happenings in and amongst before the moment has passed, and I will try to be less sporadic - promise.

Once more into the breach.....

yes,

I've been an absent friend - for quite some time it would appear.

There are a number of reason for this; but to be honest I'm not sure I can be bothered to go into the at the moment - so I won't!

Also, I want to watch something on the telly at errm OHHH NOW. I promise I'll write, post pic's and all that jazz soon.


TTFN